I think I must be having my Third-Life Crisis. Not my third crisis, but 1/3 of life crisis. I'm finding the phrase, "at this age..." creeping into my conversations more frequently. Yesterday, my bad knee was acting up especially strongly. I went on a bike ride for the first time in years. I think I have some torn cartilage, which I apparently aggravated. So, I was telling a friend how I needed to go see an Orthopedist because "at this age..." She started to tell me to (basically) shut up, that I'm not that old, when I informed her that she misunderstood. What I was going to say was that at this age, I shouldn't have to suffer in this much pain... because I'm too young. But I knew why she thought I was heading in the other direction.
I don't really feel old in general. But, I do think I'm having my third-life crisis. As I posted before, I'm bursting out of my 20's shell and craving a return to my youth... In general, that makes me feel relatively young. But darn it, when I get a paper cut, it just doesn't heal as fast. And the fact that I now have to be careful because I have a bad back, and I have to walk easy on my bad knee, and I have more than my fair share of cluster headaches... well, things just aren't the same at my age any more. I ache after just a little exercise, the hair is turning silver, the kids are looking younger these days... and that gosh darn music they play is WAY TOO LOUD!! Kids don't have the same respect they did "when I was that age..." Sigh. That's another phrase I find myself saying and hating myself for it.
I find more meetings with friends involve "remembering when..." as opposed to creating new memories. And that's wonderful in some ways, but gosh darn depressing in others. I want to live the memories, get out and see the world, or at least my own backyard.
I wonder if this is what it's like in your 40's and 50's, when people start buying sports cars and speak phrases like "Whoever dies with the most toys wins." If it's just an exaggeration of how I feel now, then I totally understand! Don't get me wrong. I'm not depressed about it. I'm seeing it as an opportunity. I may have missed the craziness and fun of the 20's, but I'm getting a 10+ year head-start on my 40's and 50's. Now I just have to decide where to start...